Why Searching For My Purpose Was Holding Me Back

Everyone has their own perspective on what it means to find their purpose in life. For me, the biggest game-changer wasn’t seeking my purpose—but rather learning how to live a life on purpose.

These days, so many people are asking, “What is my purpose?”—especially when it comes to their careers or life path.

As former Navy SEAL David Goggins boldly says, “So many people keep asking what their purpose is, but newsflash—you are the purpose.”

I love that.

In my final year of university, I found myself on a bit of a quest to figure out what my purpose really was.

Was I supposed to be a teacher? An accountant? An entrepreneur? An HR professional? A mother?…All of the above? (The struggle of having too many interests.)

This led me to book a meeting with a career counsellor.

During that meeting, he connected me with about six different professionals to interview on my own.

Out of all those conversations, one particular professor has stayed with me the most.

When I sat down with him, the very first thing he said was:

“DO NOT become an accountant.”

I laughed—I had already worked in accounting for a few years and knew it wasn’t for me. He continued, “I don’t know what category you’d put accountants in, but if you’re not naturally inclined toward that kind of work—don’t do it.”

That conversation led to some of the most powerful insights I’ve ever heard about living on purpose:

If you’re not curious, don’t force it

“If you are not willing—or not very curious—about doing something, don’t bother.”

He even said, “I would rather dig roads than become an accountant.”

It resonated deeply. I had felt that same resistance in several of my past jobs while finishing school.

There’s something to be said about aligning your work with your natural skills and inclinations. But just as important is recognizing what doesn’t fit.

Don’t choose a path based on outside pressure

He had seen many people choose careers simply because their parents did—or just for the money. In most cases, they regretted it.

He also said something that stuck with me:

“There will always be people who don’t understand what you’re doing—and why you’re doing it.”

Then he added:

“If people have stopped questioning what I’m doing, I start to wonder if I’m doing something wrong.”

That made me smile.

Sometimes we project expectations onto others. More often, we put pressure on ourselves.

What do you want—regardless of what you think others want for you?

Living on purpose means getting to know your own heart.

Don’t get too comfortable

“Don’t make this mistake,” he told me. “I did.”

He emphasized the importance of doing something that scares you—just a little—at least once a month.

It’s about taking small steps. Before long, you’ll find yourself doing things you never imagined.

Living on purpose often sits right in that middle space between risk and security.

Travel when you can

“There’s no better way to feel on purpose than when you’re making memories and getting a little lost while traveling.”

He shared stories of living and teaching in different countries—times that were uncomfortable, but incredibly rich.

“It’s great to experience another culture,” he said, “because it teaches you things about your own culture.”

Perspective is a powerful teacher.

Experience is the real teacher

“Wisdom comes from experience—not books.”

Books are curated—they give you exactly what you need to know. (Kind of like this blog post.)

But real life? It’s messy. It’s repetitive. It’s exciting and exhausting all at once.

Living on purpose means building confidence through lived experience—and learning from your mistakes along the way.

Talk to as many people as you can

He described himself as deeply curious, with an insatiable desire to learn.

That brought me back to his first point—follow your curiosity.

I remember thinking I had found a kindred spirit.

One of the ways I’ve felt most “on purpose” is through conversations with people who inspire me.

In the end, relationships matter most

I asked him something I had been struggling with:

“Can you really have both—a successful career and a family?”

He told me he had achieved a lot—awards, publications, recognition.

But as he approached retirement, he realized something:

"None of that mattered nearly as much as he thought it would."

What truly mattered were his relationships—his family, his friends, his connections.

Living on purpose means sharing your life with the people who matter most.

Final Thoughts on Purpose

This conversation lasted only an hour, but the lessons have stayed with me ever since.

And here’s the funny part—I still find myself asking, “What is my purpose?”

But every day, I’m discovering more ways to feel on purpose.

As the professor said—it’s all about baby steps. * * * "Many plans are in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." - Proverbs 19:21