What Changed When I Came Back To God

When I was eight years old, I have a vivid memory of my younger brother and me standing next to a fence by our local skating rink. A kid who used to hang around the rink was in front of us, and we were discussing whether anyone was going to heaven or hell. My brother stood by, observing our conversation.

The kid confidently declared that heaven and hell didn’t exist. Little did I know, that brief debate would become a part of my Christian testimony.

I was just as adamant—but in the opposite direction. I believed wholeheartedly that God was real and that we were all destined for heaven. I didn’t know where that belief came from.

At eight years old, I had only been to church a handful of times. My parents had stopped attending when I was five. My father would say, “I just had to try so hard to believe.” Although both my parents were raised in Christian households, the rituals—praying, saying grace, going to church—had faded.

Does that make my family wrong? No. I believe this shift was part of the evolving world we lived in.

Teenage Rebellion

Throughout my teenage years, I identified as a rebel. I went through phases: goth, punk, skater girl, and later, stoner/hippy girl in high school. I experimented with substances, boyfriends, and pushed boundaries wherever I could.

During this time, I felt disconnected from anything spiritual. I disagreed with teachers, hid cigarettes from my parents, and often agreed when friends said they didn’t believe in God.

Looking back, I can see now that God protected me even during those years.

Awakening in My 20s

In my early twenties, I slowly began noticing patterns in life—things I once dismissed as “coincidences.” For example, I’d talk about someone I hadn’t seen in years, and the next day I’d run into them. These moments happened daily, making me wonder: were these really coincidences?

This curiosity led me to meditation—simply lying down, closing my eyes, and focusing on my breath. In those moments, I felt a presence greater than myself.

Life wasn’t perfect—I had struggles both big and small—but even then, I felt guided, even when I didn’t know by what.

Friendly Reminder: It’s never too late to learn about the Bible.

A Turning Point

After a particularly difficult breakup, I felt guided to visit a local naturopathic clinic. There, I met a woman who would profoundly influence my spiritual journey. I told her about the “coincidences” I had been experiencing. She simply said, “They aren’t coincidences—it’s just life.”

Through the community at the clinic, I met people who were joyful, God-loving, and full of faith. But I still wasn’t sure about God’s role in my own life. Was He the one I connected with during meditation? The one who carried me through my darkest moments?

One woman in particular told me she attended the same church my parents had stopped going to. Over tea, she asked, “Do you know who Jesus is?” Nervously, I shared what little I had learned. Before leaving, she asked, “Can I pray for you?” I closed my eyes and felt an overwhelming sense of peace. She gave me a Bible and offered to go to church with me.

Finding Faith

The Sunday we went to church together, I was anxious—questions about what to wear, how to behave, whether I’d fit in. But once we entered the building, it didn’t matter. The music, the worship, the atmosphere—it all overwhelmed me. I cried, overwhelmed by a mix of sorrow and relief.

For the first time, I felt a true connection with God. I prayed for forgiveness, and something shifted inside me. From that day forward, I began studying the Bible and praying consistently. I saw God’s hand in my life everywhere, guiding me through struggles and longings that nothing else could fulfill.

Even as a child, I had an innate sense that God existed. I remember telling that local boy at the skating rink—and faint memories of praying at the foot of my bed. I didn’t realize then that I was born a Christian, only to reconnect with that faith later in life.

Full Circle

Life had taken me through rebellion, doubt, and searching, only to bring me back to the faith planted in my heart as a child. Now, whenever that deep, unexplainable longing returns, I know it is God calling me to reconnect.

If you don’t know God yet, I hope you open your heart to Him. Faith can guide, heal, and transform—even when the path seems uncertain. * * * "Jesus answered and said to him, 'Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.'" - John 3:3