The Vitamins I Was Missing (That Had Nothing To Do With Food)

Have you ever felt off, overwhelmed, or disconnected—and couldn’t quite explain why?

Like nothing is wrong, but something just isn’t right?

I’ve felt that way more times than I can count. And for a long time, I thought the answer was simple: just think more positively, try harder, do better.

But the truth is, balance doesn’t come from forcing yourself to feel better. It comes from understanding what you’re missing.

I’ve read a lot of classic self-help books over the years, but one that has always stayed with me is How to Get What You Want and Want What You Have by John Gray.

He’s also the author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, and much of his work focuses on relationships. But what stood out to me most was his perspective on how women can create a more fulfilling life.

In my early 20s, I really dove into the self-help world—a passion I definitely inherited from my dad. Like many people of his generation, he believed strongly in the power of positive thinking.

He used to tell us, “You can do it—you can do it if you put your mind to it.”And honestly, I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

…but as I got older, I started to feel like something was missing.

That mindset, while powerful, can sometimes feel a little unbalanced. Because the truth is—you can’t always just “think positive” your way out of everything. Sometimes you have to sit in the discomfort. Sometimes growth comes from acknowledging what’s hard, not bypassing it.

So when I first saw the title of John Gray’s book, I’ll admit—I thought it sounded a little cheesy.

But I kept reading.

And what I found was something much deeper.

He talks about getting what you want in life in a way that isn’t forceful or desperate. It’s not about demanding more or obsessing over outcomes—it’s about learning to ask for what you want while still feeling grounded in what you already have.

And that second part—wanting what you have—is the most important part.

Because so often, even when we get what we thought we wanted, we slowly become dissatisfied again.

That’s where his concept of “Love Vitamins” comes in.

This idea has stuck with me for years. I’ve come to see these “vitamins” as different sources of emotional and spiritual nourishment. When I feel depleted, off-balance, or dissatisfied, it’s usually because I’m lacking one (or more) of them.

I think of them as levers—small areas of life I can gently adjust to feel more "on purpose" again.

Here are the 10 Love Vitamins that help me when I feel depleted:

Vitamin S: Self-Love Replenish by: getting a massage, taking a bath, going for a solo walk, making yourself a nice meal, or uplifting someone else, praying

Vitamin F: Family, Friends & Fun Replenish by: calling a loved one, planning a get-together, being playful at work or with your children, spending time one-on-one with a friend and truly listening to them, or hosting a small intimate gathering at your home

Vitamin P1: Parents Replenish by: checking in with them, asking for or offering your help in return, honouring them

Vitamin P2: Peers (with shared goals) Replenish by: joining a class, fitness group, church group, or even an online community

Vitamin D: Dependents (children or pets) Replenish by: spending time nurturing a child or pet—or even helping care for someone else’s

Vitamin C: Community Replenish by: attending local events, supporting small businesses, or giving to local causes

Vitamin W: The World Replenish by: helping a stranger, volunteering, or contributing to something bigger than yourself

Vitamin R: Romance Replenish by: planning intentional time with your spouse—or, if you’re single, staying open to connection and creating a space in your life for it

Vitamin G: God Replenish by: prayer, attending church, or listening to a sermon or podcast

Vitamin G2: Serving God Replenish by: living out your purpose, helping others, and asking the Lord, “How can I serve?”

When something feels off, I don’t panic—I just pause and ask:What might I be lacking right now?

More often than not, the answer is already here.

So if you’re feeling depleted, disconnected, or out of balance—don’t assume something is wrong with you.

You might just need a different kind of nourishment. * * * "The Lord blesses His people with strength and peace. His presence provides stability." - Psalm 29:11