Baby Steps Through the Postpartum Fog

No one really tells you how disorienting postpartum can feel—how you can be filled with love for your baby and grief for your old self at the exact same time.

This was me a year ago.

I left the house by myself for the first time—a short drive, just one week after giving birth to my son.

It was the first step I took toward recovery.

As I drove, I kept thinking, “Is this really my life now?”

I had never felt such deep wonder, but at the same time, such a heavy sense of doom. Postpartum hormones feel so real, yet they can fill your mind with thoughts that aren’t real in the grand scheme of things.

The version of myself I wanted to get back to felt impossibly far away.

At home, I obsessed over getting my son to do as much tummy time as possible. While he lay on the floor, I would lie beside him, trying to do abdominal and pelvic floor exercises.

And the thoughts kept coming:“This is so far from where I want to be.”

Then I’d look at my baby and think:“He’s so far from where I want him to be.”

My mom was my greatest encourager during that time. Having raised four children, she understood exactly what I was going through. She told me,“When I was in postpartum recovery, I reminded myself every day: I’m getting a little better. Just a little better each day. It’s like how your baby develops—slowly, day by day. It’s the same for you. Baby steps.”

My sister-in-law, also a mother of four, said something I’ll never forget:“Let that baby heal you—little by little, mind, body, and soul.”

Now that my baby is almost a year old, I finally understand what they meant.

Healing didn’t happen all at once. It happened in small, almost invisible ways—day by day, moment by moment.

And the truth is—you don’t know until you know.

Those words stayed with me. They grounded me. And I’ll carry that mindset with me again if we’re ever blessed with another baby.

So if you’re a woman deep in the trenches of postpartum, feeling like yourself is a lifetime away, hear this:

You are not behind. You are not broken. You are becoming—slowly, gently, in the most human way possible.

You and your baby are taking baby steps—together. * * * "The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand." - Psalm 37: 23-24